Have you ever had those days…or weeks…when you feel like a complete failure as a wife and mother? When you feel like your “game is off?” Well, I’ve had several of those weeks here lately. I’m not sure why exactly, but I have a feeling it’s due in part to the temporary living situation we lived in for over 2 months and the unsettled house that we now occupy. While we are so blessed to have been hosted for the past 8 weeks by an amazing couple from the church, we (and by we, I mean me) counted the days – and sometimes hours – until we had a home to once again call our own.
And now that we have that place, my days are filled with kids tugging at my skirt, playing loudly with each other, the occasional screaming as a child learns they don’t always get their way, piles of laundry, dishes, unpacking boxes, cleaning, organizing and the list goes on. Most days I accomplish all or at least most of what’s on my “to do” list.
So, why do I feel like such a failure? Where oh where do I start?! It’s not really anything big, but it’s all these little things that seem to creep in when I’m stressed, worried or overly tired. I feel like I’m constantly asking my kids to forgive me. While it’s important that my kids know I’m not perfect, I would; however, like to be a little less flawed.
As I was reading in James the other day, there were several verses that really struck me. “…let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness that God requires.” (James 1:19, ESV) I’ve heard these commands many times and in many sermons, but what really struck me was not the first part, but the second – anger of man does not produce the righteousness that God requires. WOW!!! I know that when I let me get in the way I can “fly off the handle” rather quickly. But, what I never thought about was how this affected my character – the character that God wants me to have as His child – RIGHTEOUSNESS. Then I thought, if anger doesn’t produce righteousness, what does it produce? Well, what’s the opposite of righteousness? Wickedness…evil…SIN!! My quick responses are producing evil and wickedness within me! That sent shivers up my spine.
I mean, I don’t consider myself an evil person. I don’t steal, cheat, murder – you know…the big sins. But, it doesn’t matter. My anger, however often I let it rise up, produces wickedness inside me. James goes on to say,
For we all stumble in many ways, and if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body. If we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well. Look at the ships also: though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. –James 3:2-5 (ESV)
The tongue may be a very small part of our body, but it controls nearly every part of it!! Whatever comes out of our mouth is what dictates our actions. So while I am supposed to watch my actions, I must first be mindful of my mouth. If what I say does not match what I do – it doesn’t matter!! People will begin to view me as a hypocrite, a liar and more. And what does that say about my Savior. What perception does that give of Him? Oh how tight we must hold our tongue!!
Believe me, this is not an easy thing to accomplish either! My mouth frequently gets me in trouble. Now, I don’t cuss or use foul language, but I can be quick to answer and it’s usually out of frustration. Even those words are hurtful – especially to my children and my husband…the people I love the most on this earth!!!
So how can we tighten the reign on our tongues? PRAY…PRAY…PRAY!!!! We are human through and through. We cannot do this alone. In fact, I would argue that we can NOT do this without the power of the Holy Spirit living in us and through us. We need His strength and His power to hold our tongue. Sure you can use the tip, “stop and count to 10 before you respond,” but oh how many times has that failed me?! I finally realized – it takes me a while sometimes – that I was never going to be able to do this on my own. Here is a little prayer that I like to say before getting up in the morning to help me get ready for the day. Because, let’s face it…I have 4 kids, three of them 4 & under, and life gets hectic quick and I react even quicker sometimes. So, I need to start out my day with this prayer before I ever find myself in a situation where I’m regretting what just flew out of my mouth.
Dear Heavenly Father,
I praise you for this day. I thank you for the life you allow me to live. I pray that you will help me today. Guide my every step, thought, word and action. Give me patience and help me to practice your word, “be slow to anger and quick to listen.” Teach me to be the wife and mother YOU want me to be. Show me how to be your hands and feet to my husband, children, family, friends and the world. Help be a shining light for your glory. Be my all.
In Jesus’ precious and holy name,
Amen.
How can I pray for you today and this week?
Blessings abound,
Annette
Sharing with these wonderful parties: Raising Arrows, The Better Mom, Time-Warp Wife, Growing Home, Far Above Rubies, Raising Homemakers, Deep Roots At Home, A Wise Woman Builds Her Home, Raising Mighty Arrows, Hearts for Home Blog Hop, Graced Simplicity
The post Producing Righteousness by Holding Your Tongue appeared first on In All You Do.